Sometimes i just feel that life goes around in circles, when you feel you have come out of a sink hole, here comes another stupid act that drives you back in. There's really no other word for it except stupidity.
I want to be optimistic about life. But it gets depressing eventually to have things turn out not the way you planned. You find little joys in your day that makes you smile, and treasure it hoping for more. But at the back of your mind, there's this nagging feeling that it will be a fleeting event. You try to hold on to whatever little you have, but like water in your hands, it just drifts away.
It gets tiring that i resorted to having short term, single goals. Hoping that other aspects of life will serendipitously fall into place.
I pray for it every day. And i still pray for it still.
But i am tired...